Dating a codependent
I sat there comfortably in the chair of my therapist’s office, and with a deep breath I knew that “it” was over.
I did not know what “it” was, or the amount of work and change that would follow, but I knew that I was ready and willing. From the influence of an alcoholic, narcissistic father to the string of narcissistic relationships formed afterward, my identity evolved through who I was to others and what I had given to them.
Again, choose your words carefully, such as, "I realize that your mother is an incredibly important part of your life. Can we talk about how you might feel comfortable adjusting this balance? Codependency is their issue to discuss and work out among themselves, not for you to fix. Be direct about your needs but be realistic about what he can achieve.
For example, ask if you three can have dinner together once a month as opposed to every weekend. Phil recommends he be specific about when his mother is invited into your lives and when she isn't.
Codependency is dangerous in that it often allows unhealthy relationships to continue and can cause depression and even suicidal thoughts.
It is treatable with therapy after it is recognized, which is accomplished by identifying a few key symptoms.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~Oscar Wilde I remember clearly and will never forget the golden moment when I revealed my truth.
Healthy, intimate relationships can even help you live longer.
Codependent relationships between mothers and sons often develop in situations where the mother is a single parent or the father is emotionally estranged, explains certified life coach and dating expert J. The mother recreates the lost relationship via her son, causing an unhealthy dynamic.
This is a highly charged situation that you can't alter -- change must come from your partner. Your partner may not realize that their codependency is hurting his relationship with you.
Developing your own identity and solid sense of self can sound like a tall order.
However, it is also the foundation we need if we are to develop a healthy relationship with another person.
If you’ve also realized that you are codependent, these ideas may help you dig down and reveal your true, authentic, beautiful self.